Homemade Turkey Burgers That Don't Suck

It's no secret that preparing food is nearly as bothersome for me as getting a tooth pulled (more on the tooth thing in a future post), but UGH our existence depends upon sustenance so I suppppoooooose I'll make some food every once in awhile. And I suppppppooooooose for David's sake, that food shouldn't always just be pasta and sauce. 

Typically I hate cooking meat or poultry. The idea of getting my fingers all up in some raw chicken or beef with all those nasty stringy ligament-looking things popping out to frighten me... well I just am not into it. Sometimes I'm able to put the gross thoughts on the proverbial backburner long enough to make a meat-based dinner. Here's how I make turkey burgers that don't suck at all.

Mince up some garlic - 2-3 cloves per pound of meat - and chop up as much onion as you like. In a bowl, hand mix these ingredients with a pound of lean ground turkey. Add salt 'n pepa and mix it up again. You can even add some chili powder if you want to. Next, form as many patties as you can with your mixture. The number will obviously depend upon how large you're making them. I made all sorts of sizes - look at me go:

.  oh that little guy? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ^^ .
.  i wouldn't worry about that little guy  .

Make yourself some bacon as an additional burger topping, if that tickles your fancy. It tickled mine. Look at all the condiments I've prepped for the occasion:

.  and no, i don't mean the bourbon in the back  .

Heat up some olive oil in a pan on medium high. When the oil is hot enough, throw ya patties on! JK, place them gently.

.  sizzzzzzzle  .

Look at all the other delicious things I've got as toppings for my turkey burger:

.  avocado, tomatoes, romaine  .

Things were relatively healthy till now, but then I added a little bit of cheddar cheese to the situation.

Cue the bacon.

And sour cream.

And French fries.

And look at my tiny side burger:

.  mini side burger  .

.  cheddar, avocado, jalapeno, sour cream, chili powder  .

SEW GEWD. SEW GEWD. SEW GEWD.

(#boston!!)