HOLY CRAP.

HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS?!

THE news.

NSYNC. REUNITING. MTV. VMAs.

Those things are all happening this Sunday, if the rumors are true. (Perez, I swear to god if you're steering me wrong right now.... )

Just slap me. SLAP ME. If loving this news is wrong, I don't want to be right.

If you don't know why I'm flipping my shit right now, please read the entire confession about my NSync fangirl days here: My Long, Serious History with Justin Timberlake

I don't even have MTV in my current cable package, but thanks to the wonders of technology (and also thanks to a recent switch from Shaw to TELUS), I can call up the cable company on Sunday and have them change my package to include MTV and they'll do it right then while I'm on the phone with them. Hoozah!!

Here's one of my favorite NSync VMA performances, from the 1999 VMAs:

How do you feel about NSync? Do you love them or hate them? If you hate them, what's the matter with you? Will you be watching the VMAs?

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My Long, Serious History With Justin Timberlake

IT'S HAPPENING PEOPLE.

Two of my all-time favs - Justin Timberlake and Jay-Z - are going on EFFING TOUR TOGETHER. It's almost like they're doing it JUST for me. This is like the last 14 years of my musical life mashed together into one concert experience, and my mind has practically just blown right out the side of my head about it all.

But before I hyperventilate or just drop completely dead, I'd like to go back to the beginning for a moment or two... and reflect on the origins of my fandom.

I still remember the first music video I ever saw Jay-Z in... It was Foxy Brown's "I'll Be" and I was in 8th grade. It was around the same time that Jermaine Dupri's Life in 1472 album was out, with Jay accompanying him on Money Ain't A Thing. I was a little late to the Jay-Z party, having totally missed Reasonable Doubt and In My Lifetime, Volume 1... but by 9th grade, I'd copped Hard Knock Life, Volume 2 and was totally versed in "Hard Knock Life" and "Can I Get A..." In fact, I relished the latter coming on over the speakers at high school dances because I could school everyone on every lyric from Jay's to Ja's.

Becoming a fan of Jay-Z was easy for me, since I'd been a fan of hip hop since about 2nd grade. I had the 1992 Kris Kross Totally Krossed Out cassette, watched plenty of BET (my parents had blocked MTV on our televisions), was a fan of Queen Latifah, Zhane, SWV and En Vogue, and could not get enough of the "Nuthin But A G Thang" music video. Man, what a party that looked like.

Boy bands and Justin Timberlake fetishes, on the other hand.... those started out as more of a joke. It's time for this story to take a dark turn, as we delve into a detailed account of my long, serious history with Justin Timberlake. Hold onto your hats.

Oh sure, I dabbled in NKOTB as a youngster... I owned an NKOTB sleeping bag and a set of "I (heart) Jordan" earrings, but I was really too young for them to have any real lasting impact on me. I was like four years old.

Fast forward to 1999 when I went to an 'NSync concert with my friends Rachel and Patrice and my sister Mallory. Rach was obsessed with boy bands at the time, and the rest of us thought it was hysterical. When 'NSync was set to perform in Albany, NY, we thought we'd entertain Rachel by going to the concert with her.

JOKE'S ON ME, as it turns out, because I was immediately turned into a teenybopper during that show. The dancing. The heartbroken pop songs. The outfits. It was all too much. I blacked out and woke up with an 'NSync t-shirt on and a self-titled 'NSync CD clutched tightly in my fist.

From there, things deteriorated pretty rapidly.

I listened to the CD constantly. I'd bring a CD player into the bathroom with me and play the album while I showered. I was buying Tiger Beats by the dozen, scrutinizing entire racks of teenybopper mags for seriously a half hour before deciding which ones to buy. Soon, friends were giving me those ENORMOUS jumbo pencils (super popular in the late 90s/early 2000s) with 'NSync pictures on them and I had my mom rushing home from work to record Rosie O'Donnell appearances for me.

And Rosie O'Donnell was really just the tip of the "TV appearances to record" iceberg. There were stacks upon stacks of VHS tapes in my house, each with the same threatening message scrawled across them: "*NSYNC TAPE - if you tape over this I will KILL you!!!!"

.  exhibit A  .

I wasn't joking either. Ask any member of my family.

Each tape was also meticulously labeled with details of which performances could be found on it:

.  exhibit B  .

My one 'NSync CD somehow turned into fourteen 'NSync CDs. Yes, fourteen. You may ask, "'NSync had FOURTEEN albums????" To which I'd reply, "They've got even more than that if you're digging into their expensive import albums and singles released overseas in Sweden before they were even famous in America."

.  yikes  .

My bedroom walls and ceiling became covered - and I mean COVERED - with 'NSync pictures and posters. It was a big room, too, so there were a lot of freaking pictures. (I shared the room with my little sister, too, the poor thing. She had absolutely no identity in the bedroom except for the lone Britney Spears poster that I conceded to allowing on the ceiling. Sorry, Markie.)  God knows how much money I spent on magazines and pictures to hang up on my walls and inside my locker. Oh yeah, inside my locker, too. You think this addiction stopped at the door of my home?! Nope. Everyone who knew me knew I'd become freakishly obsessive about this boy band.  I was doing 'NSync-based projects at school, amassing a nice stockpile of 'NSync-inspired ceramics, short stories and essays.

.  i made this  .

This was all pre-Facebook, obvi, so Internet chatrooms were the proper outlet for me to compare myself to other girls in terms of how "serious" each one REALLY was about 'NSync. And there was a hierarchy, ladies... so if it's the year 2013 and you're not writing a blog about 'NSync then I'm pretty sure it's obvious who the "Queen of That Shit" is.

Other Internet-related 'NSync fan activities included reading legit fan fiction (you have no idea the seedy underground involved in this one, people), searching out the very best photos of the fab five (and using every expensive ounce of ink inside my parents' printer cartridges to print out what must have amounted to hundreds of them - please see above and below examples), reading chat transcripts from AOL-sponsored 'NSync/fan chats (pre-Twitter, this was your only chance to interact online with a celebrity), weeding through fake Justin Timberlake AIM accounts, and trolling eBay for ultra-expensive concert tickets.

I ultimately ended up at nine of those concerts, by the way. Many of which I paid an insane eBay price to see from the world's shittiest seat.

Once in 2001 I made my mother drive me to Long Island, NY to see 'NSync perform at the Nassau Colosseum and then threw an absolute FIT on the highway when we got a flat tire and would only end up getting to the performance two hours early, rather than the five or six I was aiming for. In the parking lot that day, I participated in a radio-sponsored dancing contest for front row seats and backstage passes. I didn't win.

Speaking of dancing, did I mention that I knew the choreographed dance moves for all their songs and am pretty confident I could still perform them to this day, thanks to the wonders of muscle memory? Because that's true. 

Also speaking of concert-related contests, here's a heart-breaking tale:

In the summer of 2003 my friend Jamie and I heard about a contest for backstage passes and front-row tickets to a joint Justin Timberlake/Christina Aguilera concert that would be coming to Albany. The contest was easy enough - just make a cool sign and then come on down to the arena that night to try to win the tickets. Jamie and I made the most incredible banner - not just a sign, a BANNER - using tons of small photos of Justin and Christina to write out the radio station's frequency - 102.3 - in huge, 3 foot tall numbers. For good measure, we added hundreds of cut-out pictures of lips to the rest of the banner - representing the KISS 102.3 radio station. We spent weeks on this thing and it was good.  I've never in my entire life been so sure that I was going to win something. We KNEW we were going to win. There was absolutely no way we couldn't. We told our friends and family to stay tuned, because the next time they saw us they'd be staring at two chicks who just watched Justin Timberlake perform from the front freaking row... and off we went to New York to claim our well-deserved prize, giddy as we could possibly be.

Long story short:  KISS 102.3 gave away the tickets to practically every shitty fan there except for us. In a "salt in the wound" move, the final set of front row tickets was given to a little girl and her mother - neither of whom EVEN HAD A SIGN. THEY DIDN'T HAVE A FUCKING SIGN!!!

Jamie and I were disgusted. Dis. Gusted. The entire thing was a sham. I could not believe that we hadn't won. We literally threw our banner into the back of the radio station's white van (we didn't even want to look at that stupid sign anymore), told them to eff off, and contemplated just driving straight home to Pittsfield with our heads hanging in shame and our proverbial teenybopper tails tucked between our legs. Instead, though, we scalped a couple of (again, super expensive) tickets from some old guy who was out in front of the arena taking advantage of the assortment of devastated contest-losers, and we went inside to see the show. It was great. But it would have been a lot better if we'd gotten backstage or been in the front row. Curse you, 102.3. Curse you.

It wasn't the only time I was slighted in my quest to be 'NSync/Justin Timberlake fan Numero Uno. Lesser fans than myself made it onto MTV's FANatic show to meet 'NSync, that's for damn sure. Don't think for one second I've forgotten about that, MTV. If MTV were a boy, it would be a boy who should be sleeping with one eye open. 

For a year or so of my 'NSync obsession, I pretended that Lance was my favorite. I didn't want to be as generically "into" Justin as every other girl on the planet was at the time. But I knew the real truth. Justin was the cute one. And the funny one. And the one with the best dance moves. And the best cornrows. Wait, what?? Yeah, I stuck by his decision to rock the occasional cornrow hairstyle. Shit, I rocked it myself now and then in high school. Clearly, with the bounty of white flav between the two of us, we were kindred spirits. I had it in my head that surely - SURELY - someone who was as big a fan as I am must at some point meet their idol. Right?? At some point the stars must align and the boy band gods would shine down on me with a beacon of light that would lead me, coincidentally, right into the same {book store / movie theater / mall / NYC street corner / airport terminal} that Justin was chilling in. 

To this day I'm still waiting for that to happen.

And so here we are, fourteen years after my first 'NSync concert, still talking about it. To my family, I really want to say... I'm sincerely sorry for everything I put you through because of Justin Timberlake from the years 1999 to 2003. I hope that someday we can all look back and laugh about it.

Ha... ha... right?

UPDATE: Well after I wrote the bulk of this blog (and bought my tix to the Justin Timberlake/Jay-Z Vancouver concert!) I discovered I won't be able to attend due to some super ultra important scheduling conflicts. And just like that, the dream is dashed!!! Wish me luck in my solution to this issue ;) The quest to meet my idol lives on.

Even Mooore Holiday Nails: A Little Santa Suit

Here's a new holiday nail polish look to try out if you're feeling feisty and festive at the same time:

.  ho ho ho bitchessss  .

It's a tiny little Santa suit! Mind you, it's only tiny because I have itty bitty hands/fingernails... yours may be a taller, more slender Santa than mine.

Yesterday YouTuber cutepolish uploaded this adorbs nail polish design to her channel, Santa & Elf Suit Nails:

If you don't feel like watching the video (shame on you), she painted a red Santa suit on each of her ring fingers, and green elf suits on all her other nails. I had a feeling I should take it down a notch on my own nails, and not press my luck by trying to make 10 tiny suits. There's only so far I can realistically get without a bird pooping on my fingers, after all. So for my version, I stuck with just one Santa suit on each hand and left the rest green.

Recreating this is relatively easy, as you probably already noticed if you watched the cutepolish video. But here's the run down anyway - sorry it's not a step-by-step via picture!

1. Paint your ring fingers 2 coats of a red polish - I used A List by Essie.
2. Paint a vertical white line down the center of the nail, and then a horizontal white line across the tip of your nail. This is your little guy's fur trim, because he's fancy. I used Snow Me White by Sinful Colors.
3. Use a striper or a toothpick dipped in black polish (I used the latter) to paint on his black belt (hi-yah!).
4. Use a toothpick dipped in gold polish to make the square buckle in the center. Me fav gold polish is Big Spender by Nina Ultra Pro.
5. Paint the rest of your nails 2 coats of a Christmassy green (I used Posh by Revlon).

And hooty hooo!!

:)

On that note, here are a few Christmas songs to wet your holiday and boy band whistles at the same time:

Fuck One Direction. Justin's cozy cashmere v-neck is all we really need for the holidays. Also this:

And this:

I hope I've put at least one of those songs into your head now. Enjoy that for the next day and a half!

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{Linking up with All Things Christmas}

Solo in the City + The Halloween That Wasn't

It's been kind of a dull couple of weeks with Dave away. We are pretty good at going off on mini-adventures together - even if it's just to spend an afternoon walking all over the city. Without him around, I still love going on walks... but solo walks tend to end up being a bit shorter due to a combination of boredom and my desire to not walk alone in the dark. It stays pretty dark here in the mornings until almost 8am and then gets dark again around 6pm, so my window for walking after work isn't huge!

.  fall things, things fall .

On top of that it's been very rainy (duh), which also makes walking less appealing. Going on drives out of the city hasn't really been on the agenda either since our car window was smashed. I haven't been able to get it repaired yet because it's not my car and I'm not sure how insurance will work up here in Canada, as we haven't gotten Canadian car insurance yet. Dave will be coming home tomorrow (whoop!!) and we'll have to deal with it then. In the meantime I did an ultra ghetto patch-up job of duct taping a black garbage bag over the gaping hole in the door. It's funny b/c the guy with the truck beside ours (whose truck window was also smashed) has a very nice, clear plastic temporary seal on his window that looks like a professional did it, and ours looks like Oscar the Grouch stopped by to help out with the repair.

I did manage to take the car to a gas station yesterday in the pouring rain and spent some time vacuuming the glass up out of the backseat (and trunk and front seat and window pockets and under the rugs and inside the center console and seatback pockets and and and and GEEZUS THERE'S A TON OF BROKEN GLASS HERE!!). As soon as I started driving away from the gas station, though, a fresh cascade of broken glass fell out of the window frame and left a new pile on the floor in the back of the car. Awesome. Dave very helpfully pointed out to me last night that, "Car glass will not stay together broken. It will just keep crumbling." Now you tell me!

You might be asking why I opted to do all that in the pouring rain, and to that I say: a) Hey, it's always raining here. What, am I going to wait for a sunny day to vacuum? b) It was something that was hanging over my head and I just wanted to be done with it.  c) ... I actually just didn't notice it was raining before I left my apartment to undertake this project. I didn't bring an umbrella or wear rain-appropriate footwear either. When I returned home a half hour later, drenched from head to toe, the 20-year-old in the elevator with me timidly suggested that I ought to get myself an umbrella. So I stabbed him. #jk

What else is going on this week? Halloween. I took turns emotionally dressing up as both Debbie Downer and a sad panda this past weekend as Facebook was flooded with pics of people dressed up in ridiculous costumes and partying with their buds. I absolutely love Halloween and I always have. When we were younger, my sister Mallory and I used to start planning our Halloween costumes in November practically. My mother used to frequent fabric shops like JoAnn Fabrics (#whatupPittsfield?) and there was always an entire section of pattern books in the back of the store. Mallory and I would pore over these books looking at Halloween costume ideas, literally any time of the year. Fast forward to 2012 and I am still planning my Halloween costumes nearly years in advance. I even started setting calendar reminders for myself in my phone - i.e Early last year I actually set "South park character halloween costume" as a reminder for myself in my calendar for October 1, 2011. No jokes.

This year was the first year probably in my entire life that I didn't dress up for Halloween. I had no one to spend it with and no house party to attend!! WAH WAHHHH. Dave said that we could watch Halloween movies together when he gets home but we'll just see how that pans out. Mostly because there is no such thing as a movie store anymore and I'm pretty sure Redbox is fresh out of The Nightmare Before Christmas and Hocus Pocus. Netflix, I'm not even going to bother with your streaming library. I know you don't have what I need.

In the absence of current costumes, here is a look back at some awesome Halloweens past:

.  2003 halloween at umass - i'm in the middle as bedtime bear . 

.   halloween 2004 at umass.  super troopers were the costume to beat that year, chuggin' ron roberto out of syrup bottles  .

.  2006 halloween at umass - bonnie and an apparently deceased clyde. whateva  .

.  halloween 2009 boston - all black everything .

.  with princess leia and smurfette, photobomb courtesy of a wild thing . 

.  halloween 2010 boston - another year, another carebear. apparently everyone wanted to be childhood toys this year . 

.  we are laughinnnnnnnng .

.  halloween boston 2011 - mr. and mrs. potatohead and me as neon. so on trend .

I might not have dressed up in a costume this year but I sure have been eating as if I went trick-or-treating. Not sure where all this candy came from or why I'm trying so hard to give myself Type 2 diabetes but... Dave might come home to find that I've turned into a Rocket or a chocolate-creme cookie.

Hey here's something totally unrelated - Taylor Swift, the little angel-faced sweetheart, has a new album out that everyone is going nuts about because it has sold over 1 million copies in its first week. This isn't the important part. The important part is that this is putting good old 'NSync back in the news because they hold the all-time record for albums sold in one week, with 2.4 million sold. What up No Strings Attached and the year 2000?! If you knew me during high school, or paid any attention to my life at all, you would know that I was obsessed with 'NSync from at least the years 1999-2003. How obsessed? So obsessed that I knew without Googling it that No Strings Attached was released on March 21, 2000.

On that note, watch this:


And hell, watch this too:


Oh those boys, with their music video hijinks and puppet metaphors!

What did you dress up as for Halloween? Did you hand out candy? What was your favorite costume that you saw this year?